Short rant to non existent readers

I feel like my whole life is just so boring, nothing exciting like finding a boyfriend or good friends or people who seriously cherish me.

Maybe these thoughts would come and go away, but its just times like this that make me feel super duper lonely and so helpless. The crazy thoughts would always come at this timing, haunting me like cray cray.

Maybe I would act on those thoughts sometimes or maybe just once, and I will never ever come back again (if you know what I mean) Sometimes people words comments actions can also make me feel so inferior but then again what Eleanor Roosevelt said was true "Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent". If I didn't have so intense and so many insecurities, I don't think life would be so tough. I brought all these upon myself.

Without all these triggers, I would be able to function as a normal person and lead a normal life. Maybe there will be ups and downs but I know I won't do silly stuff or have cray cray on-top-of-the-world insane thoughts.

Nobody ever ever stays. I repeat NOBODY.

Rant isn't over yet, it's just that I don't want to bore you guys. HAHAHHA.

Go ahead and judge me.

Ciaos, sorry there isn't any pictures available. boring blog.

EXAMS OVER FUCK YEAH

FUCK YEAH MY EXAMS ARE OVER. I AM LOOKING FOR A JOB NOW.

Life hasn't been good but wtv, guess that's just the common ups and downs that
everybody experience
I haven't felt much ED voices, but tbh, I don't think i can differentiate between the both of them.

Anyway, there is something I would like to ask my viewers.

When you guys were recovering/still symptomatic, did you guys ever thought of eating like non edible items? I have been eating normally but on top of my normal meals, I would also eat like chicken or fish bones or like parsley or like just eat green chili on its own. Sometimes, I would grab my paper and chew them also.

I know this is weird but I don't know why this new symptom is coming up. Haven't had them before. If anyone know any recommendations to stop, please leave me a comment.

Thanks guys.

SOME FOOD PORN

I hate you for triggering me but more than that, I hate myself for
allowing myself to get triggered by you.

More food porn up, so as not to bore my fellow readers.

Doubt there will be any but no harm trying.

PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS AND ALSO VISIT MY BLOG MORE OFTEN.

thanks all for patronizing. :D

Nothing feels better than ...

Nothing feels better than skinny feels.

Oftentimes, I see this quote too many times and honestly speaking, I used to think like that
but now I realize there is so much more to life than just figure and all.

Nothing feels better than seeing someone laugh at your joke.
Nothing feels better than sleeping at a proper bed, as compared to homeless people.
Nothing feels better than drinking water when people at third world countries can't even quench
their thirst with clean water.
Nothing feels better than satisfying your true cravings.
Nothing feels better than feeling carefree to eat what you want to eat.
Nothing feels better than finally being happy with what you have and counting your blessings.
Nothing feels better than seeing your hard work paid off with amazing results.


There are more than the above reasons but I am sure you guys get my point.
Feel free to comment if you guys feel that I should add more reasons.

E, this is for you

Food porn for you guys again?

All these in my stomach and not coming up, happy happy.

Anyway, if you are seeing this, (E) I stop talking to you because I wanted the best for you
since I have always been a negative influence and I want you to recover as much as possible.
Seeing you like this ruining yourself is breaking my heart and I dont want to suffer any more
heartbreaks.

Hope you understand. Maybe we can talk after you get well (at least, reach healthy weight for me)

All the best and I miss you very much too

Any similar incidents?

I just know that I need to get out of this freaking shit hole, and how do I achieve that?

I just have to act my way outta here. I can feel the fats sinking in, I can feel everything getting
tighter, I can feel my illness going away but somehow I am paranoid of letting go.

I am really scared of letting go, I am afraid to lose this battle.
But I dont even know the battle that I am trying to beat too.

Have anyone felt similarly before?

PICTORIAL

Some of them are pretty outdated but wtv, dont really care. Cos I doubt anyone really reads this blog.