EXAMS OVER FUCK YEAH

FUCK YEAH MY EXAMS ARE OVER. I AM LOOKING FOR A JOB NOW.

Life hasn't been good but wtv, guess that's just the common ups and downs that
everybody experience
I haven't felt much ED voices, but tbh, I don't think i can differentiate between the both of them.

Anyway, there is something I would like to ask my viewers.

When you guys were recovering/still symptomatic, did you guys ever thought of eating like non edible items? I have been eating normally but on top of my normal meals, I would also eat like chicken or fish bones or like parsley or like just eat green chili on its own. Sometimes, I would grab my paper and chew them also.

I know this is weird but I don't know why this new symptom is coming up. Haven't had them before. If anyone know any recommendations to stop, please leave me a comment.

Thanks guys.

SOME FOOD PORN

I hate you for triggering me but more than that, I hate myself for
allowing myself to get triggered by you.

More food porn up, so as not to bore my fellow readers.

Doubt there will be any but no harm trying.

PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS AND ALSO VISIT MY BLOG MORE OFTEN.

thanks all for patronizing. :D

Nothing feels better than ...

Nothing feels better than skinny feels.

Oftentimes, I see this quote too many times and honestly speaking, I used to think like that
but now I realize there is so much more to life than just figure and all.

Nothing feels better than seeing someone laugh at your joke.
Nothing feels better than sleeping at a proper bed, as compared to homeless people.
Nothing feels better than drinking water when people at third world countries can't even quench
their thirst with clean water.
Nothing feels better than satisfying your true cravings.
Nothing feels better than feeling carefree to eat what you want to eat.
Nothing feels better than finally being happy with what you have and counting your blessings.
Nothing feels better than seeing your hard work paid off with amazing results.


There are more than the above reasons but I am sure you guys get my point.
Feel free to comment if you guys feel that I should add more reasons.

E, this is for you

Food porn for you guys again?

All these in my stomach and not coming up, happy happy.

Anyway, if you are seeing this, (E) I stop talking to you because I wanted the best for you
since I have always been a negative influence and I want you to recover as much as possible.
Seeing you like this ruining yourself is breaking my heart and I dont want to suffer any more
heartbreaks.

Hope you understand. Maybe we can talk after you get well (at least, reach healthy weight for me)

All the best and I miss you very much too

Any similar incidents?

I just know that I need to get out of this freaking shit hole, and how do I achieve that?

I just have to act my way outta here. I can feel the fats sinking in, I can feel everything getting
tighter, I can feel my illness going away but somehow I am paranoid of letting go.

I am really scared of letting go, I am afraid to lose this battle.
But I dont even know the battle that I am trying to beat too.

Have anyone felt similarly before?

PICTORIAL

Some of them are pretty outdated but wtv, dont really care. Cos I doubt anyone really reads this blog.

Random Post

Guess trying to beat and defeat something that is so magically insane right up your mind is just so taxing, be it physically or mentally.

"You shouldn't be the one fighting this alone, we are all in this together"

- This is just some kind of bull shit that I just want to shove it into their face. Because they havent been there and they think its some easy feat to just pull off recovery as if we want to remain sick (okay maybe thats what I want).

But up till now I still don't know what are the reasons to continue being sick.
1. Maybe its for attention.
2. Maybe I genuinely love being skinny.
3. Maybe I love feeling cold all the time.
4. Maybe I just don't want to grow up. (without menses, you aren't a full complete woman just as what they say and they make it sound like women are considered blood producing mammals of the world)
5. Maybe I just want to skip school.
6. Maybe I just want to avoid reality and rather shove it down under the carpet and never to face it ever again.

Yeah, this is just something that I have come up with, in an impromptu situation like right now but if you guys have any more ideas or any more reasons as to why someone with ED would want to continue being sick, comment below and I would include them.

Just want to let all of you know that you guys arent alone in this and I will always battle this with you guys. We might know each other personally but trust me, I have been through the toughest phases of recovery and it hasnt been a single bit smooth sailing but things get better,

Trust me, for once, at least that I am not lying over the fact that the rainbow has to come only after the storm and furthermore, this is scientifically proven.

Maybe whenever I have the time I would then choose to post more food porn pictures of my bp sessions, sigh but I dont take picture of my purge unlike some others who like to take photo of their purge, i just find it so weird.