Fight.

It is gonna be a long rant about my father so if you don't want to read, its fine.

My sister didn't join us for our weekly family gatherings and went to have a social meeting with her schoolmates.
- In my mind- 
Devil: She must not be eating, she must be starving, she must be exercising. Its so unfair that she is
so skinny and she gets to starve and all but you are such a fat pig and you are still eating heaps and heaps.

So I decide to threaten my dad not to eat dinner if she doesn't show me a picture that she is eating. But in the end, I still succumbed to my idiotic hunger pangs and ate the weekly dinner. I don't know why the fuck my willpower is ending and diminishing and stuff. I just want that old willpower and strength to continue starving and working out.

-In my mind-
Devil: Why are you still eating? You are the fattest anorexic I have ever seen, I don't think I can even call you
an anorexic patient, you are the fucking fat anorexic. 

I came back and I told my dad that my sister didn't eat dinner and coincidentally, she was eating Hersheys' Chocolate and my mum told me to eat that and I said I would eat that if I didn't have dinner.
(Btw, she was munching on Fairprice chips when we were coming back)

-In my mind-
Devil: Never mind that, she is already eating so just drop the subject. But, wait, you still ate a lot so yeah you have to stand and burn all those away.  
(Pretends untying the knots of the charger of my laptop, while standing)

Parents just immediately grabbed me and pulled me to sit down and my dad began strangling me and whispering to my ears "You said you wanna go home right, arent you at home now? Are you happy? Happy to be in this situation?"

And, the fight began. They began pulling my hair, scratching my neck, strangling me, biting me, scratching my hands with their fingernails. Now, both my hands are red.
Sorry for the monotonous post here, but this is just for me to rant.

Food.

Hello all,

Please do pardon my rare posts. But I really appreciate all the people that take the effort to come down
to my blog to patronize this boring blog as well.

Thank you so much.

Anyway, I have been really adamant about recovering because I feel that this eating disorder is the only thing
that I have and if I really recover, I would not have anything to my name.
I feel that I don't know what else to look forward to everyday. Things seem less vibrant nowadays and I
feel that I have lost the interest in everything else, do you guys feel so too?

(Please comment if you have similar experiences)

Anyway, some food photos that I have to share.
;Really appreciate family dinners like this. I know its been really tough on my family to deal with this monster at home. So, I have been "performing" rather well during mealtimes with them, to appease my guilt that I feel for them as well.

Ciaos, would post frequently (Hope i dont bore you guys to tears)