Where has that person went to?

I have always been the good girl in the family, where has that girl went to?

Can somebody find that person again? Please I beg you.

Now I can finally understand why someone would want to return to where they have begun and never stepped into this shit eating disorder because its such an unhealthy obsession and addiction and you really never understand how much shit this would be unless you are in this shit.

I can never find anyone who would tolerate and continue talking to me because everyone gets sick of my lies, my stories, my pathetic sympathetic cries for help. 

Everybody just blames it on me and only me. 

Is that person really me? Or is that the illness?

And if it really is the illness, can I ask it to simply fuck off my life?

Hiatus for a long time.

I doubt anyone still reads this blog.

Anyway, this holidays have been pretty happening.

Got admitted recently and wanted to start afresh the moment I get discharged but all in all, I just want to declare here that it has been a failure. It hasnt been that easy as I thought it would be,

I know this is getting repetitive but I really don't understand why can't I let go of something that's hurting myself, my family and those around me so badly. Can someone just advise me on why cant I let go?

Even if not for myself, at least for those around me.

Anyway, I just had lunch and I suspect my dad added rice for me. Which explains my fucking sky high anxiety and fucking depressed mood now.

FUCK THIS SHIT, I REALLY HAVE HAD ENOUGH. WHEN CAN I BE NORMAL AGAIN.