I should have just left and never came back.
I dont want to come back, I dont want to continue with this screwed up life.
My life can be as screwed up as you can think I am serious and I am not kidding.
People always ask me why I bring this upon myself and sometimes I also ask myself
why do I have to change this to something that is so troublesome for myself.
I think I cant emphasize this enough but oh well.
Friday 29 November 2013
SHUDDUP
Thinking about everything in life, I think I feel really desperate.
I don't know how to convey my feelings or sentiments, either through words or actions.
Being able to talk to others and telling them to think positive, its gonna be like a hypocrite.
I have promised myself to keep quiet as of now 10pm of 29/11/2013.
Starting from tomorrow, I shall just keep mum and keep my mouth shut and just suck it up.
Keep thinking about all these just make tears drop and drop endlessly.
Please stop, brain. You have ruined me enough.
I don't know how to convey my feelings or sentiments, either through words or actions.
Being able to talk to others and telling them to think positive, its gonna be like a hypocrite.
I have promised myself to keep quiet as of now 10pm of 29/11/2013.
Starting from tomorrow, I shall just keep mum and keep my mouth shut and just suck it up.
Keep thinking about all these just make tears drop and drop endlessly.
Please stop, brain. You have ruined me enough.
Thursday 28 November 2013
FML
My best friend found out that I lied to her. I didnt do it intentionally.
I just didn't want to affect her. Maybe another reason I didnt want to let her know its because
I know that it isnt doing myself good as well (being more selfish no?) because I know that I am
gaining w but she is outside losing w.
Maybe that's why I contemplated telling others because I know I am going to get so triggered by
them having the freedom outside and thus, being able to restrict/BP and lose all the weight and yet I
am made to gain past my hw.
I really don't know what to do anymore.
Can someone advise me what to do?
Please let me know whether I should continue talking or communicating with my friends.
I dont have much friends already.
I just didn't want to affect her. Maybe another reason I didnt want to let her know its because
I know that it isnt doing myself good as well (being more selfish no?) because I know that I am
gaining w but she is outside losing w.
Maybe that's why I contemplated telling others because I know I am going to get so triggered by
them having the freedom outside and thus, being able to restrict/BP and lose all the weight and yet I
am made to gain past my hw.
I really don't know what to do anymore.
Can someone advise me what to do?
Please let me know whether I should continue talking or communicating with my friends.
I dont have much friends already.
Thursday 21 November 2013
HIATUS AND BACK AFTER SO LONG.
I guess I have been on hiatus for quite some time.
Got really bad with my eating disorder behaviours, almost got sent over to the hospital
but luckily, I managed to get away with it.
Been binging and purging and restricting and all.
Urgh, really hate this constant cycle.
Anyway, there are various photos that I want to upload of my binge food also :D
Got really bad with my eating disorder behaviours, almost got sent over to the hospital
but luckily, I managed to get away with it.
Been binging and purging and restricting and all.
Urgh, really hate this constant cycle.
Anyway, there are various photos that I want to upload of my binge food also :D
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