It has definitely been a while since I posted. I have always been dragging posts after posts.
Typing them and end up deleting them for fear that they get judged but well again, nobody really reads it anyway. I don't really know why am I caring so much.
Okay, so lets update myself about how have things been?
Hmm, say its been pretty much the same or much worse and much more screwed up. It hasnt been a easy road going to school acting like nothing is wrong with me when the whirlpool of thoughts at the back of my mind is traumatizing and annoying. It has been difficult to hide everything and when I dont have anyone to speak to, who do I turn to?
FOOD. Yes, you are fucking right.
The only thing that I can control.
It can ruin my entire day or it could just brighten my entire day.
Fuck this shit.
I wish I could get out of this cycle.
XT, I feel you and I would give a million dollars to have your courage.
Showing posts with label binge-purge. Show all posts
Showing posts with label binge-purge. Show all posts
Friday, 16 August 2013
Friday, 31 May 2013
Rant, again. For the 10034840382902593 time
What am I supposed to do?
Everything is just so screwed up. Just got a fight with my parents.
But, see what this un-filial "daughter" is thinking. The only thing that i am thinking is "Yay, they are out of the house and I can do whatever I want without their supervision."
I am just wanting to b/p the whole way through. It is part of venting my anger and my frustration.
I gained weight and that is something that I want last to fucking screw up this weekend.
Why do I have to be such a fat whale and still surviving in this fucked up world?
This is so screwed up, nothing else is gonna work out.
Not wanting to seek attention but I really really want someone who is 24/7 always there to shower me with love, care and concern. Maybe, that is a robot or something, because I am human and I know that its impossible to stay by someone's side the whole time.
Some food porn for you guys.
Btw, this are the normal meals that are within the supervision of my parents. That means that I can't purge all this so the only way is to stick with safe choices.
What am I supposed to do next week when it is Common Test and my parents don't know that it is just no school and just going to school to take the paper?
Because I am sure that I will BP once I am free. Its taxing and annoying and expensive. HOW?
Everything is just so screwed up. Just got a fight with my parents.
But, see what this un-filial "daughter" is thinking. The only thing that i am thinking is "Yay, they are out of the house and I can do whatever I want without their supervision."
I am just wanting to b/p the whole way through. It is part of venting my anger and my frustration.
I gained weight and that is something that I want last to fucking screw up this weekend.
Why do I have to be such a fat whale and still surviving in this fucked up world?
This is so screwed up, nothing else is gonna work out.
Not wanting to seek attention but I really really want someone who is 24/7 always there to shower me with love, care and concern. Maybe, that is a robot or something, because I am human and I know that its impossible to stay by someone's side the whole time.
Some food porn for you guys.
Btw, this are the normal meals that are within the supervision of my parents. That means that I can't purge all this so the only way is to stick with safe choices.
What am I supposed to do next week when it is Common Test and my parents don't know that it is just no school and just going to school to take the paper?
Because I am sure that I will BP once I am free. Its taxing and annoying and expensive. HOW?
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