My dear friend tumblr again.

ED ruins your life.

When you get an eating disorder, you might think that you have total control over your life but, you are so wrong. ED takes over that control, and your life becomes this whole stupid cycle obsessed over food, weight and shape. Your social life, friends, family members, studies, fun are all taken away. You spend every single day thinking about food, calories and numbers.. Even when you are skinny, you will be too ashamed to show it to the world. People will not comment about how “good” you look but instead, how sick and gaunt you look, as if death would come collect you soon. You will then become so annoyed and confused. You will not be able to wear clothes that “shows off” your figure in fear the public will judge you. Probably, not only because you think you are too fat for their eyes but also part of you knows, people are judging you for being too unhealthy and gaunt looking. AND also that you ARE too thin. You won’t be able to fit into your favourite clothes. Clothes will only be hanging loosely off you, saggy and ugly. You will start needing stuff just to hold those clothes up. Dresses start looking baggy and too big (even when they are already the smallest size). Shorts or jeans becomes too loose. You start to lose the shape of your breast and your ass. Your curves starts disappearing. Your body that should be developing into a appealing curvy attractive figure gets stucked with the kiddy looking body. A stick, unappealing figure. Probably you can even be compared with a stick insect. Bones that juts out stick uncomfortably out. You can’t sit down on the floor or any hard surfaces comfortably. Even placing you elbow on your table hurts. Bruises start appearing everywhere and you gotta start wearing long sleeves or pants to hide them. You will start having no energy to do anything. You become yellow and pale looking. You cannot sleep well, and easy chores become hard. Baking? If it once was what you liked doing, becomes your fear. You beautiful long/short luscious hair starts falling out and it becomes so dry and frizzy like a broomstick. Relationships doesn’t matter anymore. You start losing interest with the opposite sex, which is so ironic. When in the first place you may be losing weight so that you can attract the opposite sex, longing for love and a relationship. You start rejecting dates or outings with friends because of the fear of FOOD. Or the matter about not having anything to wear since everything in your closet is just too huge or too small (ED thinking). You can’t even go to the beach for fear of wearing clothes that will “expose” you. You can’t go for physical ones because you have no energy to. You don’t dare to go to movies with them cause you cannot sit still or worse, stop thinking about food when just nearby you everywhere, there’s bags of popcorns, nachos and soda. You lose social life and soon, even your friends. Isolation is too common with an eating disorder. All you want to do is stay at home and avoid everything. You family starts to see those changes in you and realise your weird habits. They start putting pressure for you to change, thinking that your problem is nothing like an addiction and can be changed overnight. You fear a life without ED, you fear that once you get well, there will be too much time, an overabundance of it. You got too used to the old lifestyle and you abhor change. You cannot get rid of those chains you restrained on yourself.
Now, do you still want such a lifestyle? One that is so fucking shitty? Being skinny won’t solve a thing. Its just going to bring you even more trouble and frustrations. Accept yourself for who your are, accept yourself for whatever shape and size or weight you are. People like you based on your inner personality, not on your looks or size. Put yourself in their shoes! Do you judge others on their looks? Or their personality.